


Beacon

by Anonymous



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Arranged Marriage, M/M, NHEV, No Happy Ending Fest, Non-Linear Narrative, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:21:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29708787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: "I've always gone to you as if you were a beacon of hope for a weary soul, a lighthouse bringing a lost ship home. I'll come back to you and for you, always."
Relationships: Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Lu Han
Comments: 7
Kudos: 12
Collections: No Happy Ending Fest - 2020





	Beacon

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt #:** Self-Prompt  
>  **Prompt:** Leave a light on for me.  
>  **Pairing/Main Character(s):** Xiumin/Lu Han  
>  **Side Characters(if any):** Lu Han's Parents, Unnamed Female Character  
>  **Word Count:**  
>  **Warning(s)/Additional Tag(s):** Abandonment  
>  **Author's note:** Loosely inspired by Tom Walker's Leave a Light On and Snow Patrol's Signal Fire. Hope you enjoy reading!

Minseok sits at his kitchen table, hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. The drink had long gone cold, yet he held on. He sneers at the analogy, but he couldn’t bring himself to be angry, couldn’t allow himself to let go. Not just yet.

He turns his gaze out the window, letting his mind wander as he stares at the changing colors of the afternoon sky.

_Is this how it ends?_

* * *

He jolts into a daze at the loud thud from beyond his bedroom door, the following string of curses wiping any remnants of sleep from his eyes. He sighs deeply and shakes his head before swinging his feet around so he can get up from bed.

He’s barely stepped through the doorway when he makes a sudden stop, watching bemusedly as the other hops around on one leg while holding onto a knee, curses still pouring from out of his mouth.

Against his better judgment, Minseok breaks his silence. “Are you okay?”

The resulting shriek, bump, and fall didn’t surprise him. If anything, it brought an amused smirk to his face. Needless to say, Lu Han didn’t appreciate it.

“I hate you,” he says from his prone position on the floor.

“No, you don’t,” Minseok teases as he makes his way to the nearest switch, finally flipping the lights on. He chuckles as he sees the wince marring Lu Han’s expression. “Serves you right for disturbing my sleep.”

“It’s not my fault that it’s pitch dark and the house is set up like an obstacle course,” Lu Han whines.

“Maybe try coming home at a respectable hour.”

“Maybe try telling my parents to stop pimping me around until all hours of the night.”

Minseok drops the banter at that, the topic too sensitive for him to really think about. “Are you drunk?” he asks as a diversion.

“No,” Lu Han sighs, thankful that the other chose to step away from that discussion. “I did drink. I’m a little tipsy, but not drunk.”

“Would you like some coffee?”

“I’d like that.”

***

It becomes clockwork.

Minseok jolts from his sleep. Lu Han curses. He makes coffee. They don’t talk about the elephant in the room.

Instead, he listens to Lu Han whine about the new bruises blooming on his skin, complaining how scars aren't his thing. Minseok jokes about selling all their furniture, or perhaps making him dress in bubble wrap instead.

"Why can't you just keep a light on for me?"

They used to live in a rundown one-bedroom apartment that was really just one long hallway with everything against the wall so Lu Han was able to come out unscathed. Then they got better-paying jobs and landed a better place to lease, but Minseok was keen on saving as much money as they could to secure a better future. Leaving lights on was a no-no. Not long ago, they were able to take out a mortgage and buy a house, filling it with furniture and mementos to make it feel more like home.

"It’s an obstacle course right now," Lu Han quips. "When did we even get all this stuff?"

Minseok just scoffs and gives him a pointed stare. If the pink coloring the tops of Lu Han’s ears were any indication, he knew he shouldn't be one to talk considering he did most of the shopping in their household.

They weren't well-off but they lived comfortably, able to get everything they needed and several wants here and there. A small night light wouldn't hurt.

"A night light? What are we? Toddlers?" Lu Han squawks. "Leave the hall or kitchen light, at least."

"Okay," Minseok relents. "I'll leave a light on for you next time."

***

Minseok makes it a habit to keep a light on during nights when Lu Han had to do his parents' bidding. The whole setup was something he was against from the very start. Who in their right mind would find it palatable to have their partner going on blind dates, anyway? But Lu Han was hopeful that, if he did as his parents wished, yet still failed to meet a match, they could begin to accept that his relationship with Minseok was the real thing.

Minseok agrees to let him do it, albeit reluctantly. He trusts Lu Han, really he does.

"There will come a time when none of this," he says, hands flailing wildly to hint at the crazy situation they were in, "will even matter."

"I know."

"I've always gone to you as if you were a beacon of hope for a weary soul, a lighthouse bringing a lost ship home. I'll come back to you and for you, always."

***

Life doesn't always go as anyone plans for.

When Lu Han’s father fell grievously ill, their family felt the need to return to China, in part to consult their most-trusted doctors, another part in preparation for the worst.

Minseok understood that Lu Han had to leave. He just hates how the temporary absence was for an indefinite amount of time.

“I’ll miss you,” Lu Han says as he gathers Minseok in his arms, placing a tender kiss to the top of his head.

Minseok doesn’t say anything, choosing to burrow against Lu Han’s chest to savor the feeling of being held. He doesn’t know when he’ll have the chance to do this again, after all.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” Lu Han assures him. “Don’t forget to leave a light on.”

***

It goes as initially expected.

After spending years together with barely any time apart, Minseok and Lu Han take advantage of video calls and messaging as if their lives depended on it. Whether it was a simple text or a long phone call, they made sure to start and end their days still with each other despite the miles apart. Lu Han reminds him to leave a light on, and Minseok makes a habit of taking his phone around the house to show exactly how bright it is.

Things begin to change when Lu Han’s father takes a turn for the worse. Between hospital visits, company arrangements, and asset management, Minseok only gets a small window for his calls to connect. More often than not, Lu Han prompts to end the call before Minseok can even finish a sentence. And then there was that one time when he could hear another voice filter over the line — soft, lilting, _female._ He heard Lu Han shush the owner of that voice. Minseok doubts, but Lu Han assures him with a curt "I love you" to end the call.

Over time, the calls get shorter and the messages dwindle into nothing. Minseok does his best to keep the communication going, but it’s difficult when he’s the only one still making any effort.

He keeps the light on anyway.

* * *

The sky had already turned to a deep blue when Minseok finally pulled away from his thoughts, gaze moving from the window and turning to his still untouched cup of coffee. The liquid is dark, much like the night is, much like the halls as the evening goes deeper.

He doesn’t move to turn a light on. He doesn’t see any point.

The moon taunts him as he sits in the dark, a sliver of light filtering through the window to shine on a white envelope that sits just out of his reach.

He shuts his eyes in hopes that the words don’t enter his mind.

Minseok takes several deep breaths before forcing himself to face the present. He stands and walks away from the table, eyes straight ahead and away from the envelope. He flips a switch in the kitchen, his eyes squinting as they adjust to the sudden brightness. He makes his way to the sink, pouring the cup filled with cold coffee down the drain. He watches the dark liquid swirl into nothing, a fitting metaphor for his life past this moment.

He goes through the motions of cleaning up, falling into the old habit of keeping everything else in order because he knows it will take a while for his life to follow suit.

He finishes quickly, turning and leaning against the counter as he dries his hands using a kitchen towel. Again, he's confronted by the envelope on the dining table, its stark white color contrasting the dark wood. Try as he might to ignore it, the words decorating the card invade his mind.

_You are cordially invited..._

Lu Han made a promise, and Minseok believed in him; he didn't see a reason why he shouldn't. Lu Han asked to keep the lights on as a guide, and Minseok held on to a beacon of hope.

That hope is long gone now, just like Lu Han is, just like the fire in Minseok's heart.

He takes another look at the envelope and heaves a deep sigh, finally picking it up only to throw it directly into the trash.

There's a heaviness that lingers, and Minseok knows that it will take a while to go away. For now, he'll bear with it. And with one last glance around his kitchen, Minseok pulls on the switch to bathe it in darkness.

There was no need to keep a light on anymore.


End file.
